SHAKIRA ADMITS THE SHAMEFUL TRUTH: HER HIPS DO LIE
December 7th 2006 07:25
The music world was plunged into chaos yesterday when Latino pop sensation, Shakira, finally admitted what many insiders had feared for years - that her hips do lie!
For years the sexy songbird has kept her dark secret private despite pressure from many within the music industry to tell the truth.
In a startling revelation Shakira confessed it was her hips that told President Bush that Saddam Hussein was hiding weapons of mass destruction. She also admitted her hips had provided the photos for John Howard's 'Children Overboard' sham. But worst of all was the admission that it was Shakira's hips that were behind the signing of Kyle Sandilands as a judge on Australian Idol having assured Network Ten executives that he really wasn't a talentless twat.
The news was too much for West Coast Eagle Brownlow Medallist and hopeless alcoholic Ben Cousins. Already suffering from the debilitating disease Carpenter's Syndrome - where the victim feels a need to get hammered - West Coast Eagles officials fear this may be the straw that breaks the camels back.
Sadly for Cousins, a long time Shakira fan, was so distraught he later collapsed at Melbourne's Crown Casino. Meanwhile touring England skipper and karaoke fanatic Andrew 'Freddy' Flintoff just hung his head in shame.
"How can I ever trust one of her songs again?" moaned Freddy.
ACCC Chairman, Graeme Samuel acted immediately upon hearing the news launching an immediate recall of all Shakira compact discs.
"I'm just glad we found out before Christmas", said Samuel clearly rattled by this sudden turn of events.
A spokesperson for Shakira refused to comment yesterday so we can't tell whether they were or were not telling the truth.
For years the sexy songbird has kept her dark secret private despite pressure from many within the music industry to tell the truth.
* Liar, Liar! Pants On Fire!!
The news was too much for West Coast Eagle Brownlow Medallist and hopeless alcoholic Ben Cousins. Already suffering from the debilitating disease Carpenter's Syndrome - where the victim feels a need to get hammered - West Coast Eagles officials fear this may be the straw that breaks the camels back.
* A sobering moment?
* Howzat?!
Sadly for Cousins, a long time Shakira fan, was so distraught he later collapsed at Melbourne's Crown Casino. Meanwhile touring England skipper and karaoke fanatic Andrew 'Freddy' Flintoff just hung his head in shame.
"How can I ever trust one of her songs again?" moaned Freddy.
ACCC Chairman, Graeme Samuel acted immediately upon hearing the news launching an immediate recall of all Shakira compact discs.
"I'm just glad we found out before Christmas", said Samuel clearly rattled by this sudden turn of events.
A spokesperson for Shakira refused to comment yesterday so we can't tell whether they were or were not telling the truth.
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Comment by TonyK
AFL Central
She sure can move though
Comment by Justin
I'm the tool of the devil, not the devil himself.
Comment by Joe Blogg
Joe Blogg's Blog
manchesterunited
collingwoodfootballclub
Would it help you at all if I told you I was actually Lucifer himself?
Comment by mandy
Comment by Justin
Yes it would. All hate mails can be forwarded along to your address. There, bureaucracy can work.
Comment by Joe Blogg
Joe Blogg's Blog
manchesterunited
collingwoodfootballclub
Comment by Justin
Gasoline!
Another epic war on the big guy and his immaculate winged minions.
To give Saddam an appeal.
Larger ozone hole.
Larger stock shares in Microsoft and General Electric.