BIRTH DEFECTS
December 27th 2006 08:28
Or to put it anuvva way...............
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUDDHA!
As part of joebloggsblog.net ongoing commitment to serving the cyber community (in particular those who orbit the orble), the blog that just keeps on giving is proud to present our resident health expert and now social commentator Dr. Bloggs.
Today the Doc takes a look at the flawed thinking behind naming children.
===============================================
Okay.
What is the deal with seemingly intelligent women and the stooooooopid stoopid names they give their kids?
Yes, I am talking about the Womb Raider, Angelina Jolie.
And yes, I am absolving the Pittster of all guilt.
Now before you chicks go getting all narky, think about it.
Put yourself in Brad's shoes.
He wooda just done what most blokes do in this situation - made a few suggestions, nodded a few times, feined interest, helped with a short list containing one of his suggestions and four hundred and ninety nine of hers and then just closed his eyes, thought why the heck are we having the birth in Namibia when all our family are in the U.S. and just accepted his fate.
Brad, being a male, wooda summed up the situation and taken the most practical approach.
It's what men do.
So don't even suggest that Brad had anything to do with Shiloh Nouvel.
Just as no fella had a hand in Ginger Spice's Bluebell Madonna, Gwyneth's Apple or anything serial child naming abuser Madonna could churn out.
Nope. When it comes to stoooooopid names the ladies are only rivalled by Michael Jackson - and he's not really a man!
What I want to know though is what exactly is the motivation so many women have that sees them commit these crimes against children's names so willingly?
Literally translated from Hebrew and French Brangelina's poor urchin and Namibia's most famous export means New Messiah.
NEW MESSIAH!!!!!!!!!????????
Big call that!
That's not only a stooooooopid name but one hell of a massive burden for any child.
I actually read in one of the glossy mags that women gobble up like left overs on Boxing Day that this was the most "anticipated birth" since Jesus! Now correct me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure Joseph was more shocked than anticipating his sudden change of luck. Well, if you believe Mary's version of the events anyway.
What in, dare I say it, Gawwwd's name is wrong with something pretty and Biblical like Sarah, Rachel or even Mary?
And don't get me started on all those suburban mums who name their kids after American states and cities - Dakota, Indiana, Phoenix, Alabama. Thankfully some poor child has been spared Pittsburgh. But it's only a matter of time I guess.
Is it cultural cringe or geographical snobbery?
What is wrong with something more local like Geelong, Wodonga, Norwood, Cronulla, Niddrie or Chirnside Park?
WOTW (Women Of The World - remember this, it could get a good run over the next year or so) wake up!!!
Your child is not special.
By all means think they are spesh and cherish them like Deputy Downer does the Golden Handshake.
That is only natural. Or at least should be. (We all make exceptions for folk who live in caravan parks)
But at the same time a little honesty is needed.
Your child just aint that special.
Your child is just another beautiful new born being.
Giving it a stooooooopid name does NOT make it more special!
So stop it and stop it now!
The WOTW have clearly abused the basic right of child naming and as such it should always be left to the menfolk to make such important decisions.
========================================
Dr. Bloggs and joebloggsblog.net - Building a better future
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUDDHA!
* Open wide
As part of joebloggsblog.net ongoing commitment to serving the cyber community (in particular those who orbit the orble), the blog that just keeps on giving is proud to present our resident health expert and now social commentator Dr. Bloggs.
Today the Doc takes a look at the flawed thinking behind naming children.
===============================================
* Guilty!
Okay.
What is the deal with seemingly intelligent women and the stooooooopid stoopid names they give their kids?
Yes, I am talking about the Womb Raider, Angelina Jolie.
And yes, I am absolving the Pittster of all guilt.
Now before you chicks go getting all narky, think about it.
Put yourself in Brad's shoes.
* Guilty!
Brad, being a male, wooda summed up the situation and taken the most practical approach.
It's what men do.
* Guilty!
So don't even suggest that Brad had anything to do with Shiloh Nouvel.
Just as no fella had a hand in Ginger Spice's Bluebell Madonna, Gwyneth's Apple or anything serial child naming abuser Madonna could churn out.
Nope. When it comes to stoooooopid names the ladies are only rivalled by Michael Jackson - and he's not really a man!
What I want to know though is what exactly is the motivation so many women have that sees them commit these crimes against children's names so willingly?
Literally translated from Hebrew and French Brangelina's poor urchin and Namibia's most famous export means New Messiah.
NEW MESSIAH!!!!!!!!!????????
Big call that!
That's not only a stooooooopid name but one hell of a massive burden for any child.
I actually read in one of the glossy mags that women gobble up like left overs on Boxing Day that this was the most "anticipated birth" since Jesus! Now correct me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure Joseph was more shocked than anticipating his sudden change of luck. Well, if you believe Mary's version of the events anyway.
What in, dare I say it, Gawwwd's name is wrong with something pretty and Biblical like Sarah, Rachel or even Mary?
And don't get me started on all those suburban mums who name their kids after American states and cities - Dakota, Indiana, Phoenix, Alabama. Thankfully some poor child has been spared Pittsburgh. But it's only a matter of time I guess.
Is it cultural cringe or geographical snobbery?
What is wrong with something more local like Geelong, Wodonga, Norwood, Cronulla, Niddrie or Chirnside Park?
WOTW (Women Of The World - remember this, it could get a good run over the next year or so) wake up!!!
Your child is not special.
By all means think they are spesh and cherish them like Deputy Downer does the Golden Handshake.
That is only natural. Or at least should be. (We all make exceptions for folk who live in caravan parks)
But at the same time a little honesty is needed.
Your child just aint that special.
Your child is just another beautiful new born being.
Giving it a stooooooopid name does NOT make it more special!
So stop it and stop it now!
The WOTW have clearly abused the basic right of child naming and as such it should always be left to the menfolk to make such important decisions.
========================================
Dr. Bloggs and joebloggsblog.net - Building a better future
| 91 |
| Vote |
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
Dr Bloggs,
Oh, dear.
You don't want to know what I named my daughter...
You may have me committed.
K.L.
Comment by Joe Blogg
Joe Blogg's Blog
manchesterunited
collingwoodfootballclub
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha....
Please explain.
K.L.
Comment by Joe Blogg
Joe Blogg's Blog
manchesterunited
collingwoodfootballclub
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
Oooh, I like it...
Is that what you non-XXXX drinkers call us here??
K.L.
Comment by Joe Blogg
Joe Blogg's Blog
manchesterunited
collingwoodfootballclub
Most of us end up living there.
We generally call you the vendor.
Comment by JoshZ
As to a boy's name I want to name my first son Carston Michael, after my best friend and my dad respectively.
Great post though dude.
JZ
Comment by mandy
Comment by PeterG
Comment by Joe Blogg
Joe Blogg's Blog
manchesterunited
collingwoodfootballclub
You've just made that up!
It sounds more like a packet of ciggies than a boy's name.
Give the lad to be a STRONG name, a MASCULINE name, a name he can be PROUD of.
Call him Craig.
Comment by The Voices in my Head
The Voices in my Head
TOOOOOOO Funny!
Ok. Here I go. I am giving you the names of my children. Blast away.
Mercedes Ree'
Maverick Levi
Drew Kennedy
Isaiah Hunter
Proceed. lmao.
Voices~
Comment by Joe Blogg
Joe Blogg's Blog
manchesterunited
collingwoodfootballclub
You shouldn't be larfing.
And definately not your arse off!
The first 2 are pornstar names.
It's fortunate for them that avant garde cinema can provide steady employment coz it's gunna be hard work getting any other gig with a name like Maverick.
At least you didn't call the third one Dead.
And Isaiah Hunter is the second most popular occupation in the Middle East just behind Martyr.
That is one cruel quadrella.
Comment by JoshZ
no, that seriously is his name. Carston. Admittedly, he did sound like some kind of beer or something.
Personally I think anyone that names their kid with a name like the surname is cruel. Names like Roger Rogerson or Robert Robertson are signs of a lack of imagination and creativity.
JZ
Comment by The Voices in my Head
The Voices in my Head
Okay, okay...enough with the porn shit. These are my kids we are talking about! lol
Mercedes is a very old spanish name, meaning compassionate and merciful, which she is...very much of both.
Maverick means, well...Maverick. To go against the main stream. In today's world, that is a very, very good thing. He very much lives up to his name.
Isaiah means "Man of God."
Since you didn't pick on Drew, which is a girl, btw, I will leave that one alone.
Voices~
Comment by Joe Blogg
Joe Blogg's Blog
manchesterunited
collingwoodfootballclub
Mercedes is Shapelle's sister.
It is not an old Spanish name but an Orstrayan one meaning "Screaming Bogan".
Mav will inevitably opt for Rick and become an accountant.
Still, cooda been worse, Osama is a pretty maverick guy. Your Mav should count his blessings.
I know parents dream of bright futures for their kids but it is too much to expect both of them to work in porn.
Isaiah means "Man of God."
So does "Warnie".
Comment by Joe Blogg
Joe Blogg's Blog
manchesterunited
collingwoodfootballclub
Boutros Boutros Galli!
Comment by The Voices in my Head
The Voices in my Head
but I am SURE I don't like it.
*smile*
Voices~
Comment by JoshZ
JZ
Comment by PeterG
VIMH named her son after Tom Cruise's character in Top Gun.
Comment by PeterG
Comment by Joe Blogg
Joe Blogg's Blog
manchesterunited
collingwoodfootballclub
Say it isn't so Voices.