BLOGGS EGGSKLOOSIF!! - NOBLE PARK DECLARES WAR ON USA!!!!!!!
January 20th 2007 12:49
* Hang up or hung up?
George Bush was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang.
“G'day, Mr. Bush!” a heavily accented voice said, “This is Brett from Noble Park, Orstraya mate. I am ringing to inform you that we are orrrfishally declaring war on you!”
“Well, Brett,” Bush replied, “This is indeed important news! How big is your army”
“Right now,” said Brett, after a moment’s calculation, “there is meself, me cousin Steve, me next door neighbour Tang, and the whole Dandy Road team. That makes eight of us. It's fully sick mate. We go off mate”
Bush paused. “I must tell you, Brett that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.”
“Wicked!!!!!..I dinnit think yooz had that many ,” said Brett. “I’ll have to ring you back!”
Sure enough, the next day, Brett called again.
“Mr. Bush, it's Brett, I’m calling from Noble Park mate, the war is still on! We have managed to get some more infantry equipment and stuff mate!”
“And what equipment would that be, Brett,” Bush asked.
“Well, we have two Commodores, a BMX bike and a Blockbuster Video shelve.”
Bush sighed. “I must tell you, Brett, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I’ve increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke.”
“Mental!!!! ….” said Brett. “I’ll have to get back to you.”
Sure enough, Brett rang again the next day.
“Mr. Bush mayyyyyyte, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne…… We’ve modified Steve’s Commodore by adding a couple of shotguns, sticking on some wings and the a generator we knocked off from McDonalds. Four kids from Maccas have also joined us as. We are now so totally amped it's not funny mate. Noble Park is so up for this mate. It's sick.”
Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. “I must tell you, Brett, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-equiped, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I’ve increased my army to TWO MILLION!”
“Ahhhhh, shit….” said Brett, “I’ll have to ring you back.”
Sure enough, Brett called again the next day.
“Yeah, Mr. Bush! It's Brett from Noble Park again mate. I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Bush. “Why the sudden change of heart,” may I ask?
“Well,” said Brett, “we’ve all had a long chat over a couple of bongs, and decided there’s no way we can feed two million prisoners of war!”
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Comment by Nathan P. Mahney
NerdBlog
The Comic Nerd
Comment by PeterG
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Is there anything they can't demotivate people from doing?
Comment by Lilla
Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald
Well said, really needed the laugh ... it's a part of evolution!
thanks,
Lilla
*hysterical l-ing ol, loudly now* just noticed that Bush's phone is upside down!!!!
(((hysterical)))
Comment by JoshZ
A Simple Christian
Nice work Joe.
JZ.
p.s. I've just finished the post for you.
Comment by Hellvis
Earache Hotel
Just one question. Why does Bush sound more articulate than Brett?
Comment by Cibbuano
20/20 Filmsight
Science News
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Comment by Brett
Comment by Hellvis, maaaaaaaaaate.
Mate~
Nah need ta come the raw prawn, mate. Jus reckon that George W. Bush fellah ain't smart enough ta take ya orn, mate.
Mate!
Maaate.
Mate?
Mate--maaaaaaate--mate!!?
Have a coupla cones with im though and he'll be sweet as, mate.
S'alright mate. She'll be apples, mate.
Maaaaaaaaaaate.
Comment by Brett
I'll do ya.
You are so gone.
You are goner than gone.
You are finished.
Comment by Hellvis
Earache Hotel
I stuffed up royally.
Cones weren't involved (honestly).
I'll try and get Jon to fix it.
Comment by Damo
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
Comment by Hellvis
Earache Hotel
You, me, carpark, now!