ORBLE - BLOGGS ROW ESCALATES
December 16th 2006 22:51
The bitter feud between globetrotting blog tsar Joe Bloggs and the multinational blogging network giant Orble reached a new low yesterday following claims by senior Orble staff that Bloggs was nothing more than a low rent smut peddler with links to the highly profitable Islamic pornography trade.
The already strained relationship between the flamboyant Bloggs and Orble soured last week when Bloggs, fed up with constant technical hitches, lashed out at Orble management's lack of professionalism.
SCANDAL!
But the networking giant hit back labelling Bloggs not just an infidel but "an evil puppet of the Devil." in what many pundits are now calling Bloggsgate.
"He's gone too far this time", said one Orble insider,"Orble wishes to distance itself from white trash like Bloggs. We are a family community not a whorehouse. Blogs like Mum's Word, A Simple Christian and Wordphilia promote family values. The values we at Orble hold sacred."
Bloggs, who owns and operates a number of highly popular Islamic porn sites such as thesexyfalafel.com, crackafatwah.com and ridemycamel.com as well as the grossly over-rated joebloggsblog.net laughed at the criticism yesterday saying men go berko over burkas.
Eating a kebab, Bloggs was at pains to explain that nobody got hurt, it was all just good fun and that the women he used were all halal.
HORNY!
"Infact we often don't use women at all", chuckled Bloggs as he wiped garlic sauce from his chin. "Lets face it, in the full kit you can't really tell who is under the shroud. To keep costs from blowing out a lot of the time it's me under the sheet!"
But Bloggs startling revelation has done little to appease fellow blogger and Camel lover Norm.
"I used to smoke two packs a day", said Norm, "But after knowing Bloggs might have been there first the thought of putting another Camel in my mouth revolts me."
PINK WINKERS!
But not all bloggers are outraged it seems. Former brick layer and blogchick Dusk Devi disagreed with Norm, "I've got Scottish roots, lots of them! I did a Contiki tour of Glasgow so the idea that they might actually be men in dresses is gets me more turned on than a black and white telly in an old folks home!"
But as both sides swap salvos quicker than partners at The War Cry Christmas orgy there appears no end in sight to this internet impasse.
The already strained relationship between the flamboyant Bloggs and Orble soured last week when Bloggs, fed up with constant technical hitches, lashed out at Orble management's lack of professionalism.
SCANDAL!
But the networking giant hit back labelling Bloggs not just an infidel but "an evil puppet of the Devil." in what many pundits are now calling Bloggsgate.
"He's gone too far this time", said one Orble insider,"Orble wishes to distance itself from white trash like Bloggs. We are a family community not a whorehouse. Blogs like Mum's Word, A Simple Christian and Wordphilia promote family values. The values we at Orble hold sacred."
Bloggs, who owns and operates a number of highly popular Islamic porn sites such as thesexyfalafel.com, crackafatwah.com and ridemycamel.com as well as the grossly over-rated joebloggsblog.net laughed at the criticism yesterday saying men go berko over burkas.
* Wam, Bam, thankyou Mam!
Eating a kebab, Bloggs was at pains to explain that nobody got hurt, it was all just good fun and that the women he used were all halal.
* Makes you want to hump
HORNY!
"Infact we often don't use women at all", chuckled Bloggs as he wiped garlic sauce from his chin. "Lets face it, in the full kit you can't really tell who is under the shroud. To keep costs from blowing out a lot of the time it's me under the sheet!"
* That's Bloggs on the right
But Bloggs startling revelation has done little to appease fellow blogger and Camel lover Norm.
"I used to smoke two packs a day", said Norm, "But after knowing Bloggs might have been there first the thought of putting another Camel in my mouth revolts me."
PINK WINKERS!
But not all bloggers are outraged it seems. Former brick layer and blogchick Dusk Devi disagreed with Norm, "I've got Scottish roots, lots of them! I did a Contiki tour of Glasgow so the idea that they might actually be men in dresses is gets me more turned on than a black and white telly in an old folks home!"
But as both sides swap salvos quicker than partners at The War Cry Christmas orgy there appears no end in sight to this internet impasse.
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Comment by pegasus
Poker Addict
Comment by Homer Joyce
You are fucking hilarious man. You are one hell of a blogger. You crack me up.
This would have to be the funniest post I've read on Orble ...
You're that good, that if you were a female. I'd want to fuck you. (that is a non-gay compliment by the way) ...
I am sitting here laughing ... And I rarely ever laugh out loud ... In public, when something is really funny, I just say LOL or PMSL. But with a deadpan expression. Sometimes there are even tears in my eyes, and I have a sad expression. But people into computer speak understand I'm cracking up interiorly. And that I find them amusing. Sometimes I roll around on the floor in public, in serious-mode and just say ROFL, ROFL, ROFL. People in cafes shift the dog bowl closer to me. Or buy me a biscuit. Sometimes when I am acting like this in public, I get this desire to have a real piss, not a PMSL, so I just say to the person who bought me a biscuit, BRB or BBL, depending upon how long I think I'm going to spend in the public toilets ... If I'm just going to have a leak, I say BRB. If I'm going to toss off, I say BBL. If I'm taking a female with me into the public toilets, I usually log off.
Homer.
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
The real reason I stopped was because they started to hurt the back of my throat.
Jihad Joe is available in toy stores for Christmas.
Comment by Bhumika
Political Minds
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Orble wouldn't be the same without you.
Norm, you are another funny bugger - Jihad Joe.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
Lawdy Joe...all this gives new meaning to a burqa looking like a tent...now I know why I was so happy to be seen....
Double D
Licentious to Kilt
CRASIO
Comment by mandy
Comment by Lilla
Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald
(((hillarious)))
A rare talent
- Washing tonn(es) of Burka's Post
The Best Orble Has to Offer in one 'Blogg'
- Narky Times
Rare Insight and wit blended with Orble current affairs in a Moulenix, on No 3
- The Falefal Daily
Comment by JoshZ
A Simple Christian
Love your work dude, read it at work, got all kinds of funny looks when I cracked up.
Keep up the great work.
FIGHT THE POWER!
Comment by PeterG
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
Where the bloody hell was my mention???
K.L.
Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
I've got this strange, creepy feeling crawling all over me...
Oh, wait. It's fear.
Yes, I'm scared now, DD.
Actually, since I'm a famous wanna-be and all (my words, nobody else's), I'm going to put in a request...
I'd like the words spitfire, drama queen, pink (and possibly pink winker), romance...to be put in with my mention. Oh, and maybe Resident Pink Champagne Drinker (or alcoholic...whatever you feel is best, Joe)...
Please????
K.L.
P.S. Okay, can't help but feel I've really done it now.
Comment by Joe Blogg
Joe Blogg's Blog
manchesterunited
collingwoodfootballclub
"I've got this strange, creepy feeling crawling all over me..."
Homer?
I wouldn't be bragging about it or even making it public if it is.
As for the request....
You might have your old man jumping hoops but I make the calls around here sugar lips.
Just how bad do you want it?
Coz I'm willing to trade.
So what are you offering?
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
Oh, dear.
Oh dear oh dear.
(What have I got myself in for??)
How bad do I want to see myself named in one of your posts??? With the words Drama Queen, pink, possibly pink winker thrown in there...spitfire...you know the rest.
Hmm. Pretty bad. I want to see this pretty bad.
Alright, what are you suggesting, you evil man?? What sort of trade??
K.L.
Comment by Joe Blogg
Joe Blogg's Blog
manchesterunited
collingwoodfootballclub
You don't answer a question with a question.
You want it bad.
That's fine.
You tell me what you are willing to give up for the pleasure.
That is how the whole addict/pusher relationship works sweet cheeks.
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
I'm out of my depths...
(Where the hell is old Double D when you need her?)
Help!!
I'll be back when I can think of something...
K.L.