MEN ARE FROM MARS WOMEN ARE FROM ANUVVA SOLAR SYSTEM!
December 9th 2006 02:03
Men and Women, Guys and Dolls, Blokes and Babes.
Call them what you will but never call them the 'same' for they remain so very different.
So different in fact it's a complete mystery how the human species continues to survive.
Thankfully the highly trained team of social scientists at joebloggsblog.net have been doing extensive research on this very same subject. Fortunately for you, the learned loyal reader, they are willing to make their findings public so that we all can have a better understanding of what makes us tick and, more importantly, the opposite sex tock!.......
EPISODE 1: "DOES MY BUM LOOK BIG IN THIS?"
Seven words to put the fear of God into any man.
The question however never seems to be asked first thing on a Sunday morning. Nor does it raise it's ugly head on a workday when it seems any old outfit will do.
Noooooooooo. That would be far too easy.
This little baby gets dragged out only when a couple is getting dressed for an 'evening out'. You know the scene fellas - you've already decided what you are wearing and taken all of five minutes to slap it on while she pulls garment after garment out of draws, closets and who knows where to put on an impromptu fashion show. (which is entertaining in itself because what male ever tires of watching a female disrobe over and over again?)
So the black skirt goes on.
She swivels left in front of the mirror.
She swivels right in front of the mirror.
And then asks the question.
It's at this point the male must make a decision:
1. Do I want this quasi strip show to continue but at the same time risk annoying her and blowing all chance of a good night by saying "YES! You do have a fat arse".
or
2. Lie. Not only do I want to get some action tonight but I also want to leave within the next ten minutes.
Once again the politics of the male and female body corporate clash.
She wants an honest answer. (but really doesn't care about honesty and will settle for reassurance)
And he just wants to get going. (but thinks maybe if she eased off on the biscuits this wouldn't be an issue)
I, for one, have always lied.
Firstly, it's easier.
Secondly, I don't mind a bit of excess luggage in the caboose.
But is this the right thing to do?
Afterall, females bombard us with wanting honesty in a relationship.
Am I doing the wrong thing by hedging my bets?
Call them what you will but never call them the 'same' for they remain so very different.
So different in fact it's a complete mystery how the human species continues to survive.
Thankfully the highly trained team of social scientists at joebloggsblog.net have been doing extensive research on this very same subject. Fortunately for you, the learned loyal reader, they are willing to make their findings public so that we all can have a better understanding of what makes us tick and, more importantly, the opposite sex tock!.......
EPISODE 1: "DOES MY BUM LOOK BIG IN THIS?"
Seven words to put the fear of God into any man.
* The Love Boat
The question however never seems to be asked first thing on a Sunday morning. Nor does it raise it's ugly head on a workday when it seems any old outfit will do.
Noooooooooo. That would be far too easy.
This little baby gets dragged out only when a couple is getting dressed for an 'evening out'. You know the scene fellas - you've already decided what you are wearing and taken all of five minutes to slap it on while she pulls garment after garment out of draws, closets and who knows where to put on an impromptu fashion show. (which is entertaining in itself because what male ever tires of watching a female disrobe over and over again?)
So the black skirt goes on.
She swivels left in front of the mirror.
She swivels right in front of the mirror.
And then asks the question.
It's at this point the male must make a decision:
1. Do I want this quasi strip show to continue but at the same time risk annoying her and blowing all chance of a good night by saying "YES! You do have a fat arse".
or
2. Lie. Not only do I want to get some action tonight but I also want to leave within the next ten minutes.
Once again the politics of the male and female body corporate clash.
She wants an honest answer. (but really doesn't care about honesty and will settle for reassurance)
And he just wants to get going. (but thinks maybe if she eased off on the biscuits this wouldn't be an issue)
* Too cheeky?
I, for one, have always lied.
Firstly, it's easier.
Secondly, I don't mind a bit of excess luggage in the caboose.
But is this the right thing to do?
Afterall, females bombard us with wanting honesty in a relationship.
Am I doing the wrong thing by hedging my bets?
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Comment by mandy
Comment by Lily
Ars Poetica
~Lily
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Comment by Aamon
Comment by JoshZ
It is far too tempting/scary.
JZ
Comment by Bryan Brown
Comment by Anonymous
1. If, when she asks the question she is serious - then LIE...why do men not understand that we are not stupid. If we have a huge behind we know it's huge...we ask not so much to find out if you know it's huge but to find out if you think we look good! Maybe the question should say "Do I look good in this"...LIE LIE LIE
2. As previously stated, we women are not stupid. We know that when we are running late it irritates the heck out of you for us to suddenly stop and ask "Does my bum look big in this"....many many times, we do it just to get a rise! ~ If you find yourself in this situation and know that your princess is kidding then the appropriate answer is "Yes darling, particularly huge today...but I like it that way"!~
Good luck men...and if in doubt ... LIE
Comment by Joe Blogg
Joe Blogg's Blog
manchesterunited
collingwoodfootballclub
I lost concentration half through your post and was just staring at your arse wishing you'd hurry up.
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
What she meant to write was: As a "human" from the female side.
Can I ask, does my head look big in this?