A BOOZEY FLOOSEY WITH AN UZI
November 21st 2006 07:24
Rome might have been built in a day but it has been turned upside down in just under a week. Even the Italian government was in turmoil for a change following Pope Benedict XVI's assertion that recovering comatose victim and belledonna Sophia Loren was "nothing but a boozey floosey with an uzi".
The Pope's revelation of a torrid 3 year love affair with the luscious Latin lovely stunned both papal watchers and Catholics alike.
"She is mad that woman, mad!" he screamed "but bless here soul all the same."
Clutching his favourite rosary beads tightly the Pope sobbed, "First she stole my heart ........
........and then she stole my boat."
But it wasn't long before Benny and Sophia's fiery romance took a sinister turn.
"We used to sing together," said the Pontiff, "Such a beautiful voice she had. Don't break my heart, my achey breaky heart. That was our song you know.........then one night I knocked off early from Midnight Mass at about 11:30pm. It was a quiet night and we were a bit light on for sinners," explained his Holiness, "I came home early. I thought I'd surprise her and let her kiss my ring. I'd just had it buffed."
.
But the Pope definately more bang for his buck!
"There were balloons everywhere. Sophia loved to make balloon animals. But something just snapped in her. Maybe iwas the booze. She'd been drinking a lot that day. There was bottles everywhere. When I pulled out the bacon bishop she pulled out an uzi! She just turned and started taking shots at me." cried Benedict.
Two years later and Pope Benedict still gets the jitters when he goes out in public and refuses to go out in the open without the protection of his bullet proof Bible.
"I take it everywhere now. It is impenitrable........and not a bad read either!", he laughed.
Despite his ordeal the Pontiff still lights a candle for 'his Sophia' and was quite adamant about his unholy communion with the first lady of Italian cinema, "I still love her though."
The Pope's revelation of a torrid 3 year love affair with the luscious Latin lovely stunned both papal watchers and Catholics alike.
"She is mad that woman, mad!" he screamed "but bless here soul all the same."
Clutching his favourite rosary beads tightly the Pope sobbed, "First she stole my heart ........
* Sophia had the Pope on rope
........and then she stole my boat."
But it wasn't long before Benny and Sophia's fiery romance took a sinister turn.
"We used to sing together," said the Pontiff, "Such a beautiful voice she had. Don't break my heart, my achey breaky heart. That was our song you know.........then one night I knocked off early from Midnight Mass at about 11:30pm. It was a quiet night and we were a bit light on for sinners," explained his Holiness, "I came home early. I thought I'd surprise her and let her kiss my ring. I'd just had it buffed."
.
* She'd been drinking and was fully loaded
"There were balloons everywhere. Sophia loved to make balloon animals. But something just snapped in her. Maybe iwas the booze. She'd been drinking a lot that day. There was bottles everywhere. When I pulled out the bacon bishop she pulled out an uzi! She just turned and started taking shots at me." cried Benedict.
* You can judge a book by it's cover..... if it's made of steel!
Two years later and Pope Benedict still gets the jitters when he goes out in public and refuses to go out in the open without the protection of his bullet proof Bible.
"I take it everywhere now. It is impenitrable........and not a bad read either!", he laughed.
Despite his ordeal the Pontiff still lights a candle for 'his Sophia' and was quite adamant about his unholy communion with the first lady of Italian cinema, "I still love her though."
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Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
"What a Gal!!!"
What a great post... bullet proof bible - Aha aha ha hhaa....
*still lol-ing*
Lilla...
Comment by Em