NUN FUN HAS ROLF ON THE RUN!
January 24th 2007 23:56
* Who's watching who?
All hell broke loose in the Vatican City yesterday with the breaking news that reluctant Catholic convert, Rolf the Panda, had escaped from the Papal city while under guard from Pope Benedict's crack SS (the Security Sisters) team of nuns.
It is believed that a disgruntled Rolf had become very disenchanted with the whole conversion process expressing concern with at least three of the ten commandments.
The Church is refusing to name exactly which ones but Vatican insiders believe Rolf had a real problem with the whole not coveting neighbour's wives bit.
* A whole lotta Rosie
"He was quite frisky for a panda," said Sister Rosemary Beeds, head of security, "He really did love his bishop though. We all did."
CROSS?
Early reports suggest Rolf, who Church officials had hoped would follow Neal the Polar Bear's lead in converting to Catholicism, snuck away while the Security Sisters were distracted testing the safety of some of the rides at the Vatican City's new fun park - Immaculate Conception World.
It is believed Rolf siezed his chance while the SS were riding ICW's most popular ride, the Hail Mary. Some insiders claim the nuns were having just a bit too much fun to notice the fuzzy Rolf sneaking away.
* Hail Mary!
THEY'RE FURIOUS!
But Church spin doctor and cross presser, Sister Sledge, denies the claim.
* Blessed are the bloggers
"It's hard to know what really happened since the SS took a vow of silence years ago." said Sledge, "What we do know is we are using the latest technology like the internet to find him. I keep logging on to the Panda Movies website but although there are lots of creatures on all fours I just can't seem to find Rolf anywhere!"
But a frustrated Sledge pointed out she wasn't a quitter.
"I'll keep logging on until we find Rolf", said Sledge, "And when we do we'll forgive him his sins.............after a good old fashioned beating!"
" Rolf is very bashworthy', grinned Sledge.
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